Hi Everyone
Well 38 just snuck up behind me and pinched my ass. It seems
like only yesterday I was 23, drinking loads of beer and living in a foreign
country. Ahhh how times have changed…hang on?
So this year to celebrate the birth of Shann Whitaker, Jules
arranged a weekend getaway on a tropical island. We dived with Lionfish, giant
Grouper and green whip coral and participated in other strenuous activities
like sun dodging, hammock swinging and competitive Vietnamese food eating. Of
course such activities are hot work so there was a fair amount of hops
hydration going on as well. The weekend was really too idyllic for words. All I
will say is if Robinson Crusoe stranded himself on this beach and he had a few
barn yard animals or a fluffy monkey to keep him warm then I doubt he would
have made an large effort to set his smoke signal bonfire ablaze.
Some of the locals came over for a few hours. It is quite a
sight to see when you are swimming half naked with a brew in your hand and a
boat full of people in sweatshirts gloves and jeans walk onto the beach and
scurry up to the trees to get out of the sun. Kind of defeats the purpose of a
tropical island really.
I have become addicted to air-conditioning. I am trying to
invent some kind of mainlining apparatus where the cold air goes straight into
my blood system. So far, with little success. I do however have an abundance of
over inflated mice I need to palm off. I am starting to use the fan whenever I
can. It plays havoc with my comb over but makes an amazing pubic hairdryer
while one checks ones emails in the morning.
Jules and I went to a local soccer game the other night. By
the stares I think most of the crowd thought we must be on our way to the white
person stadium and had taken a wrong turn. On entry we had our drinks put into
a small plastic bag. The kind you would take a goldfish home in. It was one all
with one minute to play and Da Nang scored ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. The crowd
went crazy and then ran to the exit so they could make a traffic jam as quick
as possible. 
Jules and I asked our landlord about a cleaner last week.
She told us it would be $5 an hour. We thought that a to be a rip off so we
rang our agent who rang the landlord and told her that was a little steep. The
landlord caved and changed the price to $2.50 an hour and said the cleaner
would start on Wednesday. Wednesday came around and the cleaner turned up and
guess who it was……our landlord…ha..ha ..haaaaaaa. Too funny.
Went to the movies with Jules on date night and saw The
Avengers. They only play big blockbuster action films as only kids and Uni
students go to the movies. It was air splittingly loud but somehow the little
chubby kid behind me still made himself heard over the 2000-decibel gunfire. Much
to Julia’s embarrassment I had to give him an ‘Oi…shhhhhh’ …………didn’t work, the
little chubby dude just got louder.
I guess the big news is that Jules signed a two-year contract
with Singapore International School. Starting August 15th she will
be a full time teacher with a tidy salary, housing allowance, air travel
allowance and a professional sun- tanning boyfriend.
The other big news is that we have joined the masses and bought ourselves a Honda Wave motorcycle. Her name is Lafonda and she goes like the clappers. Jules has already taught herself how to crazy drive. As I have said before. There are no road rules so not much to learn accept point and go. 
Finally just to give you an idea of personal space
violations here. Today I went to lunch. Turned up at 1pm so the restaurant/
garage was empty. Sat down at one of those table and chairs that you wonder
whether it had been looted out of a dolls house. 5min later there were 4 people
at my table. It was like a no holds bar chopstick fight. There was no
conversation but quite a bit of eyeballing, talking about me and showing me
what food to eat with what utensils. I still believe they are a little bit embarrassed
about inventing the chopstick.
Until next time my friends, I bid you farewell.
