Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been a solid 3
weeks since my last blog and I am feeling a weeny bit naughty.
You may ask, Shann, why the religious prelude? Well my
heathen friends, Julia and I have joined arms with a church group here in Da
Nang and we are rocking our souls in the bosom of Abraham. One of our goals
while we were here was to get on the charity bandwagon and spread the love. We
found this great organisation who have been in Da Nang for 14 years and who
receive funding from church groups in Australia. Before you say “Hallelujah
brother and praise the Lord” with lots of frankincense, Jules and I are just
pitching in where we can, which will entail a hospital mural in the children’s
ward, helping with the Operation Heartbeat program which gives heart operations
to kids in need and hopefully a trip out into the wops where we will distribute
piglets and other fairy tale like animals.
Speaking of animals, Jules and I have kittens. After I sent
the last one to a watery grave I thought it was only fair to try again. We
thought we had two 3-week-old sisters but after a trip to the vet today and a
wee bit of feline fondling we actually have a brother and sister called Sticky and Nooky. They give us great joy
by performing circus tricks most of the day and best of all they toilet trained
themselves in one day. Took them for their shots today. Two shots each and a
vet consultation in what seemed to be the lounge of someone’s house set us back
$5.
Yesterday we took the day off and went on a motorbike
excursion over the hills and far away. We swam on a deserted beach in crystal
blue waters, rode over mountainous like mountains and found the secretive
Elephant Springs which hundreds of Vietnamese had also found. Luckily because
of our overall sweatiness we were given our own private swimming hole and
relaxing waterfall to ponder in. The day ended with a sunset motorbike gallivant
back over the mountains and a
‘dirty chicken’ dinner with friends. There is nothing more satisfying
than BBQ chicken and beer.
Have not really spoken in depth about the public toilet
situation here in Da Nang. It’s
somewhat of a lottery in each establishment. It varies from a proper toilet to a hole in the ground to a
floor and two bricks (Jules’s personal favourite). A slightly sloping slab of
sneaky cement distributes your wees nicely but we have yet to experiment with
the more weighty number two extract mainly due to a lack of wiping material or
any kind of high powered sprinkler system. It was about 45 C in our upstairs
toilet the other day. Not the best place to be during ones early morning coffee
laxative rampage. It’s like piping chocolate mousse infused with honey in a
foreign sauna. I am getting somewhat used to the smells. No longer does a ride
through the fishing village feel a slap in the face with a wet fish fart. Julia
actually whiffed fondly at the sulphur smell protruding from a building site
the other day. We seem to be fitting in. 
I leave you finally with a new game I have invented. It’s
called ‘man pissing’. There is an amazingly sophisticated game in NZ called
‘Horse’. I don’t have the time to explain all the rules but when you are
driving along and you see a horse you yell out ‘Horse’ ………actually that’s all
the rules. Well substitute a man pissing with a horse and you have a new game. Bonus
point if he’s got a motorbike helmet on.
So I must scoot into town now and pick up my beautiful girlfriend
(who is not impressed with all the talk of excretion) on the back of Lafonda
the love Honda. Until next time.
Shann
