The Olympics are on and ironically they seem to make me a
little on the lazy side. I mean there is nothing more satisfying than laying on
the couch in a horizontal position that is bordering on a backwards incline,
feeding large amounts of brightly coloured food into your face while watching a
group of athletes physically exert themselves to near death. It just makes me
want to recline even more horizontally. I now find myself going to bed in the
early hours of the morning, which inevitably makes me even more tired, which
spirals me into another couch binge Olympic session. It’s a perpetual laziness
trap that will not finish until the Olympics do.
So our last few weeks have been dominated by the wedding we
attended a couple weeks back in Hue. We were lucky enough to be invited by Hieu
and Huong to the ceremonies as well as the reception. It was a beautiful and
somewhat hot affair. For the first time in six months I found myself wearing a
pair of strides, socks and shoes and a shirt. In a somewhat cruel twist of fate
the mercury decided to reach 40C at the pre wedding celebrations. So after we
climbed off La Fonda the Honda and our one-hour hot air ride my body decided to
melt. It just became one big self-destructing circle of sweat. First the small
dot of sweat began on my front and this made me nervous so I sweat more. Soon
the sweat dot turned into a man boob sweat and then just when I thought I had a
handle on it my girlfriend tells me that my back resembled a piece of glad wrap
in a bathtub. But luckily we had beer. Beer in abundance with large slabs of
ice in it. There was a 2000 decibel Karaoke machine where Jules sung a lovely
rendition of ‘Time After Time’ There was good eating and a lot of toasting.
Mot, Hai, Bad, Yo!!!!! (1, 2, 3, cheers) is heard everywhere and just as things
got going everyone jumped out of their seats and said goodbye. That’s it. The
MC said it’s over so we were off again. 
The wedding the next day started at 6am at Hieu’s house. A
long procession of family members took a bus to Huongs house where a ceremony
took place, some adornment of jewels and gifting of wedding paraphernalia. Then
everyone on the bus again back to Hieu’s where a similar ceremony was performed.
Then just as it started to heat up and the tummy started to rumble the whole
family got on the buses again and head off to the reception. It is hard to sum
up everything in a few words. I will just say this; Jules and I were made to
feel like celebrities. We were welcomed into homes and then looked after and
paraded around by both families. English was of little use so there was a lot
of gesturing and smiling. It really was a great day. 
Jules and I have now started Vietnamese lessons and I have
to come to the conclusion that it cannot possibly be a real language. I think
most of the time they are just making stuff up. I am going to keep trying.
Jules seems to be getting a handle on this hoax better than me, but once I
start making up my own words we’ll see who has the last laugh. 
The only real fast food in Da Nang unless you count agile
rats is KFC. And before you say, ha ha isn’t it KFD………no! I actually prefer it to
NZ’s Kentucky Fried equivalent. Firstly uniformed KFC representatives greet you
at the door. You order and it costs around $5 for a meal. The meal comes with
cutlery on a plate with a glass full of cold Pepsi. Unfortunately the burgers
still resemble a promiscuous camel’s vagina but boy can you taste the chicken.
Then there are the chicken pieces. A huge breast of chicken heavily coated in
the colonel’s secret herbs and spices making it clear that Vietnamese chickens
are obviously a little more endowed than their woman. Do I miss fast food, yes
I do, and on return to NZ in just over 2 weeks I shall be revisiting all that
Auckland greasy food chains have to offer.
Before I come back could I please order some warm weather. I
am not sure if I can handle temperatures 35C colder than I am currently
experiencing.
Cheers
Shann
