Well I am back in the sweaty bosom of Da Nang and someone
has casually turned on the big tap in the sky. No catastrophes yet, villages
swept away or deathly mudslides. Its just a casual sprinkling here and there,
cooling down the air while the mosquito’s hump around in their trillions
multiplying ready for the good stuff. Cunning as ever, they stop at nothing to
get a piece of you. I saw a couple of mozzies the other day having sex in full
view of everyone. Naturally I stopped to take a couple of photos while half a
dozen accomplices ravished the back of my knees. 
It was good to be back in New Zealand for three weeks. The
weather gods were pleasant enough and as I went about my work I tried
desperately to stuff as many pies, cakes and burgers into my mouth preparing
again for noodlegeddon. Hell you
could have wrapped turd in a piece of pastry and I would have given it ago.
Funnily enough when I returned yesterday all I wanted was a bowl of beef
noodles. 
I had a few airport mishaps, moans and misfortunes. I
believe it all started at Auckland Airport when at 7am a man on a loud speaker
bellowed out “ would the owner of a pink Dora the Explorer bag please collect
it from gate 16”. A cunning ploy by a 3-year-old child was once again thwarted.
I was delayed 5 hours at Saigon airport. I am not sure if you have been to
Saigon airport, there is not a lot to do. So instead of racing ants on the
tiled floor I popped over the road to the local cinema to listen to Christmas
carols? Then watch a shitty movie. At least the seats were comfy. My biggest
moan was on the way over to NZ. Jetstar, jetstar, jetstar……..what can I say.
May your entire crew get diarrhea on a plane full of Muslims. I had my credit
cards stolen a couple weeks before I left Vietnam. When I went to order some
food on my 10-hour flight home, I was refused, as they would not take cash due
to their credit card only policy. Not even when I spoke to their robotic
manager pleading my case would they budge.
So I went hungry for 14 hours.
Incredible.
The Gift Fair went well for me considering the dire state of
the retail sector. I walked away pretty pleased and the samples that I had made
in Vietnam were well received.
There seemed to be this horrible inevitability hanging in the air in NZ of
more expected price hikes, people telling me that living costs just keep rising
with no apparent wage rises in sight. To be honest nothing shocked me more than
a nine-dollar beer. After a quick calculation on my abacus I realized that I
could buy 40 glasses of beer for that here in Vietnam. Someone is having a
laugh. 
So what now? Well today I start my first class at my new
teaching job. Once a week for two hours at a local expat school teaching art. I
am dressed and ready to go but feel a little underdressed in my shorts and tee
shirt. Art teachers should drape them selves in white silk or wear some kind of
crazy home made suit pant with a receding ponytail and custom painted specs.
Maybe that will come with time but for now my craziness will lay hidden on my
aeroplane undies. So we are designing and painting a environmentally themed mural
on the whole front of the school.
My main objective at this point is to keep all of the children alive and
not to swear in class. 
I have a behemoth of a mural to complete at the local hospital
and I have more new products to design for Tantrum Design in the New Year. I
bought my surfboard over so hopefully a little bit of surfing will take place,
we have visitors coming to stay soon and I have cats to get spade (not related).
It is all go I tell you.
What I did realize as I entered Da nang airport was I was
glad to be back and that home, for now, is definitely in Vietnam. There is
still a lot to see and do and life is pretty unpredictable which is how I like
it.
Shann
