It was my first Asian Christmas and what a doozy. The December build up was like a tinsel nightmare from the seventies. The malls were playing jingle bells in Vietnamese, in the usual 10,000 decibels, little kids were going to school in mini santa getups and a couple of the resorts dragged out their choir act, summer mulled wine and a handful of Christmas spring rolls. For me a summer Christmas was the norm but you could see the Americans freaking out, not knowing whether to sunbathe or deck the halls.
We participated in the annual Santa Booze cruise. Three buses filled with scary westerners, thrusting their seasonal drunkenness on Vietnamese date night. The bewildered looks we got when we flash mobbed a local restaurant singing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer was priceless. I went as the Grinch in full face paint and met a bunch of new people who still have no idea what I look like.
Julia and I had some unexpected night time visitors just before Christmas. After a small soiree at our house we were rudely awakened in our bedroom at 2am by a man and his torch. I wanted to let it slide but Jules's hysteria kind of snapped me out of my drunken slumber only to find 5 more men in our lounge with large batons. We had accidentally left our motorbike outside and our door unlocked which we now know gets you a visit from the neighborhood watchmen. Julia said I was a little cold towards them, I think they were lucky not to get kneecapped, looking like menacing triads from an asian crime film.
We had three School Christmas functions to attend to in December. The Green Shoots Kindy Fair, the Green Shoots 'Lion King' Production, which I did the face painting for. And The SIS school charity fair which again I was the local ' I wanna be a princess' face painter. I Did actually con one girl into letting me paint her as a Saprano.
On December 20th we were off to Myanmar which I am going to have to write a whole Blog post about because it was truly a spectacular experience and one that a few lines will not do justice.
So now we are back in Da Nang and about to embark on a long journey home. I will miss Vietnam but when I return the weather should be heating up again. It is a weird sight watching thousands of people fanging around in snow gear while I am still in shorts and a tee shirt. It is a bone chilling 22C today so time to get out those thermals.
This year is the year of the wedding. I cannot wait until July when Jules and I tie the knot. By the time July rolls around it is going to be ball sweatingly hot. Speaking of weddings and balls, I went to a lovely wedding last weekend and as I was leaving I popped into the loo to water the horse when the MC parked up next to me and started asking some incoherent Vietnamese questions while pointing at me todger. I quickly decided that my personal space was getting violated and made a move to the door when he decided to give me the old Christmas hold (A handful of nuts) Its amazing how quickly someone can become so inappropriate. I gave him the international sign for 'backup or I will break your face' repeated the word 'no' a few times until he was saying it back to me and then left MC Light loafers to ponder his mistake. I wonder if that's his usual weekend gig?
So 4 more days and I will be in NZ. Excited to see friends and family, weddings, festivals, birthdays and Kiwi summer magic, bring it on. OK must make a move. I have a pot of boiling water on the stove and a nest of fire ants to destroy.
Shann
