Ha Long Bay and Kittens

Hi there folks

Another few weeks of my life just disappeared quicker than you can say  ‘dead already. Its been an eventful few weeks with trips north and south, parties and dossers, pets and dead pets and of course several buckets of perspiration.

Lets start with the most important thing. You are now reading the letter written by Da Nangs number one champion Sandcastle sculptor (we actually came second but it was totally rigged) you may now take a moment to bathe in my glory ………….. Last Sunday 75 teams of four walked out in near inferno conditions with shovel and hat, slaved away for 3 hours to produce a line of epic sandcastles to raise awareness for safe beach fun (condoms and sand just don’t mix). Our team, Team Slap and Tickle was an international ensemble featuring Jules and I (NZ) and Dan and Meg (USA) Our mission was to create a six meter water buffalo with wings and fire coming from it’s ass. This was a tricky creation to explain to the locals. One girl asked if these kinds of Buffalo lived in the forest in NZ. Maybe she had been to the Ranui markets on a Sunday morning? Team slap and tickle walked away with a new fandangled boogie board, one million dong cheque ($60) for a meal at the Mecure Hotel and four crippled old ruined bodies. Also, I think I got sand in my vagina as I was pretty cranky the next day and resembled some kind of rigamortis mushroom.

Last weekend Jules and I hopped up to Hanoi for a wee looksy. Jules had some Visa stuff to take care of and I felt like wandering around sweat soaked markets smelling poos and wees.  We took the overnight train up which was like a prison on tracks. Four beds to a room. It was all fun and games until you wanted to go to the loo. Each time I went I walked away feeling like I had just pashed a toilet brush. Hanoi was great, mad, but great. Got to look at a lot of galleries and shops and I am finally starting to get my head around making my products here. I also picked up my daily four-mozzie bites. I am constantly scratching and realized that four bites a day are 1460 bites a year. Eventually that will pretty much make me half mozzie on my sister’s uncle’s side.

When we got to Hanoi we decided to take a 2-day cruise around Ha Long bay. We met up with our 10 shipmates. Scandi’s, Poms, Aussies and Vietnamese and set sale into the beautiful sea along with the other 250 boats. It was actually quite stunning and once we got going all the boats started to disperse off into their own little areas. The boat was really cool equipped with a bar and dining room. The rooms had aircon and showers and soon everyone was swimming, fishing, kayaking and spelunking.

On our return to Hanoi we met up with Jules’s friends for a home cooked Indian meal and goodness gracious me was it not splendid and indeed eaten with much merriment.

We took the train back again to catch some more germs and invited 4 of the Scandis to doss at our place. Our spare room upstairs was so hot it was like one big Sauna. I had been thinking for a while that I would like to turn it into a Swedish Sauna and whataya know.

They had a great 3 days at ours, we laughed we cried we drowned a kitten.  Unfortunately that last bit was no joke. Jules and I adopted a tiny street kitten with the Abola virus. The next morning it just kept vomiting and crawling off into the corner to die. Finally I couldn’t handle the long drawn out cruelty so I filled a bucket with water and put it out of its misery. Unfortunately what I didn’t know was this kitten was actually Claude, Vietnams champion free diver kitten that could hold his breath forever. I am now pretty much scarred for life. At one point I think I cried out “will you drown already”

So no more strays allowed. There has been a lot more going on. Basically every time we step out the door something weird or interesting happens. I have finally worked out the traffic situation. It is absolutely brilliant. Basically the Vietnamese have scrapped all road rules thus totally making the ‘dumb ass’ driver obsolete. No rules, no rules to break and no one to get angry at. At home I am always yelling at some dumb ass that does not know the road rules. If there are no rules then you cannot yell at anyone. Brilliant.

So it’s now time to wash off my 3 layers of sweat. Hope you guys are all good.

Shann and Jules