Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Da Lang a lang



I sit here typing as Julia TV remotes her self through 60 channels of Vietnamese soap operas. I’m not sure what they are about but there always seems to be mass wailing and woe. Just like Young and the Restless just with cardboard sets and of course in Vietnamese. We are now in our new flat. 100sqm, 2 floors, two bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, fully furnished with garden and fishpond for a whopping $350 a month. Granted at this point of time we have no functional water supply and are bathing rather bashfully in a little red plastic bowl. The day we moved in Jules found a huge cockroach in our room. It had been there a while as it had a moustache and was smoking a cigar. When I chased down the hall I noticed it had a tee shirt that read ‘ Who will be laughing when the nuclear holocaust comes’ we also have a pet rat that comes into the yard each day. Jules still thinks it’s a small dog but I pointed out to her that small dogs don’t wear eye patches.
We have no water because it has been a holiday for the last two days and all plumbers are either drunk or sleeping on planks of wood. Yesterday was Vietnam reunification day. The monumental day when the Northern tanks defeated the USA and smashed into the Ho Chi Minh City Palace taking their southern brothers into a deep embrace. Wait, hang on, first the Southerners were sent to the “Re education” Camps then they all embraced. I wonder how some of the Southerners feel about this holiday, as many families would still have fathers and grandfathers that fought along side the Americans.  To celebrate this weekend Da Nang held the first champion of champions’ fireworks competition. France, Italy, Canada, China and Vietnam. After the smoke had cleared and the millions dispersed I am still not sure who won. I am sure however that some little fireworks factory in China will be having an extra helping of Ping Pong Quaaaar this year. Jules and I were once again on display. We had our photos taken, we were asked questions about how old we were and why we were not married. We were even asked to take photos of people with us with our cameras? Jules even got asked home by a drunken safety officer with 3 teeth and an open purple shirt. Why she turned those gums down I will never know. So it was spectacular time and we had a group of friends up from Hoi An staying at ours to celebrate with.
We are slowly acclimatizing to both the food and heat. It was 38C the other day and my hair caught fire. I now look like Stevie Wonder (forgot to tell you I have had braid extensions) Jules and I had our first bad meal tonight down some back alley. You know the saying ‘Pigs snouts and assholes’ Well I'm pretty sure my broth winked at me when I puckered my lips.
We had a big surprise party for an American friend on Friday night. It was a family affair with heaps of kids and expats. There are quite a few families here mostly from Aussie, NZ and USA. Jules starts work next week, which she is looking forward to. Its been about 5 months since she last worked and today she was watching Justin Bieber on TV which I read somewhere is a sure sign of mental illness.
In a couple of days we are taking the train up to the capital Hanoi to visit Hau Long Bay and get a bit cultural on it. Apparently there are coffee shops where girls in bikinis serve you coffee. Jules has kindly pointed out that this is neither cultural nor fair trade.
So we are well and truly ensconced in Vietnamese life. I can say hello and can count to ten now so I am pretty much an integrated citizen. So its now time for my sponge bath. Dad would say that the little red bucket I am about to bathe in was built like the town hall…..not enough ballroom. But then you could say that about most of the buildings I frequent.
Until next time

Shann and Jules

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